This is Halloween

Ah, yes. That night when all the little children don costumes and walk the streets at night, wandering from door to door, collecting candy from their neighbors. A time when jack-o-lanterns glow from seemingly every porch, and the air is filled with the sound of children's laughter.

And, if you live somewhere that has a reputation for getting chilly at this time of year, it means finding different ways to keep warm while trick-or-treating. So today at Heinous Hats, we'll be focusing on Halloween hats that are maybe not so spooky but will definitely keep your scalp warm, such as these:


Call me a relentless romantic, but for parents taking their kids out trick-or-treating, nothing says "together forever" quite like a set of Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein hats.


The best thing about this hat is that all you really need is a light brown shirt or sweater, and you officially have a costume. Think of it as the classier version of the slutty animal costume favored by so many, which means wearing some sort of skimpy ensemble with a pair of cat ears on your head and a tail pinned to your butt.

But honestly, I saw this hat yesterday, and now I desperately want one for myself. Which is saying something, because this model is certainly not selling it at all.


Dude! It's a hand-knitted Yoda hat! Complete with the ears! How much more awesome can it get!

...Yeah, so now I've outed myself as a Star Wars geek, but whatever--that hat is amazing and looks like it'd be really comfortable, which is more than I can say about those molded plastic Yoda masks.

But whatever you cover your cranium with tonight or tomorrow night, here's wishing you a Happy Halloween from Heinous Hats!

Fine and Dandy

In every person's life, there comes a time where you want to dress up to stand out, and a fedora just isn't going to cut it. You just need something with a little more oomph. Luckily, Retro-G has you covered with their selection of dandy-style hats.

And boy, are they ever dandy. Just take a look!

Of course, it helps if you pair it with an adorable grin, doesn't it?

Not that you can't rock one while looking serious, either.

Or while being entertained by looking at what appears to be a tin of mints. These hats are good for every situation!

But by and large, the greatest things about these hats are that for all their ornate beauty and charm, they're actually fantastically comfortable to wear. They're light-weight, made out of soft fabric and fit so nicely on your pate that after a while, you forget you have one on entirely. Which, from where I'm standing, is the the hallmark of A Good Hat. Or a Heinous Hat, if you will.

My Hat, It Has Three Corners

"...Three corners has my hat./
And had it not three corners,/
It would not be my hat."

That little ditty from my childhood was what I had running through my head last Friday when I saw A. sporting her tricorne hat at my friend's birthday/Halloween blowout. Considering that her style of chapeau dates back to Revolutionary War times, I think she did a marvelous job of pairing it with modern garb.

Of course, when you have as much dignity of bearing as A., I think you can pretty much pull off anything. Look at the sheer authority she exudes, just drinking from that glass! It's phenomenal!

But when you're playing with period dress, some of us just can't resist the urge to go the full nine, as K. proved when she arrived at the party.

Oh, yeah--she went there. But when you're a Revolutionary War reenactor, I imagine it would be difficult to resist the urge to plunder your private collection for a costume party. And seeing how she strives for authenticity in her reenacting gear, I can safely say everything she is wearing in this picture is accurate to that historical era, right down to the fabric of her mob cap.

Now I'm just curious as to whether or not that mob cap gets a lot of use otherwise. I know I'd be tempted to try it out every once in a while, but it would probably look like I had on a fabric shower cap.

So what have we learned, children? Tricornes have infinite possibilities, and mob caps are probably better left paired with period fashion. Vive la revolution!

Oh, Canada.

"Our home and native land/ True patriot love in all thy sons command..."

...

I'm sure there's more words to this, but that's about as many as I can truthfully remember off the top of my head. From what I've been led to understand, that's pretty damned awesome for an American and significantly more than most Canadians can actually recall. However, I'm reserving judgment on that last bit.

In any event, I am heading off to Canada (Toronto, ON, to be precise) this weekend to partake in the birthday celebrations of a dear friend, so this post will be going up earlier than normal. So here; have a picture of the birthday boy wearing an appropriately-colored umbrella hat.

Of Cephalopods And Caps

One aquatic creature that doesn't get enough good press is the squid. Sure, they're kind of creepy-looking, and by most people's reckoning are only good for providing the world with calamari, but did you know that squids make excellent hats?


Yes, the squid, by nature of having so many tentacles, is easy to fashion into a hat. All you need do is strategically tie two of the tentacles around your head, and the squid will stay on, making you that much easier to pick out of the crowd.

However, since this is a hat blog, it shouldn't surprise you that yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as an actual, honest-to-haberdasher squid hat.


And let us not ignore that it is a cow-spotted squid hat. Because a squid hat is awesome enough as it is, but a Holstein-patterned squid hat just makes it even more so.

The squid hat apparently comes from the same place as the shark hat from the Monday post, which I heartily recommend you check out for yourself, should you want a squid or shark hat of your own. I'm kind of partial to the mushroom hat, myself.

Wear The Wild Things, Arrr! (Bad pun, I know.)

Or is that a play on words? I can never remember the difference. *sigh* Oh, well.

Wait--what is that?

*strains to hear menacing cello in the background*

What on earth is that sound? Could it be...? Oh, no.


Oh, yes--it's Jaws: The Hat!

As you can see, occasionally it's not enough to have a hat that is shaped like a hat. Oh, no; sometimes, in the effort of reaching maximum levels of awesomeness, you have to get a hat that is shaped like a carnivorous fish, stretching its jaws wide enough to bite your head off.


Of course, the downside to wearing such fabulously dangerous hat is that it might make you a little tired. I mean, the sheer effort of being that amazing has to put a strain on your personal energy, right? So sometimes, it's easier to just roll with a yeti hat. Just as dangerous, but isn't liable to make you pass out while leaning on other people's shoulders.



See? Look how full of vim and vigor he is! That yeti hat isn't slowing him down in the slightest, and he still looks fantastic!

...

Do you have a wild and crazy hat? Want to share with the Internet? Send a photo to m.rose.evans@ gmail.com!

Baa! Baa, I tell you!

Another hat that is liable to make people at PETA nearly wet themselves in self-righteousness is the shearling hat. Like many hats made from the pelt or hair of an animal, they are not a hat to be ignored, but the '60s version of the shearling hat takes that to a whole new level, as this picture of Leah demonstrates:


Then again, considering that Leah was not someone to be ignored, I'd say the hat suited her magnificently. Not as magnificently as the viking hat, but close enough.

Today's post brought to you with some apologies to Jane Austen.

As autumn gives way to winter and the temperatures begins their inexorable downward slide, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man who desires to keep his pate warm must be in want of an ushanka.

Wait--a what? An ushanka, of course! You know, those Russian hats with the flaps that can either be flipped up, pulled partway down to keep the back of the neck warm or pulled all the way down to keep both the back of the neck and ears warm? Yeah. Apparently, the proper name for them is "ushanka", which I just learned today. And being the generous sort that I am, I felt the need to share that with all of you, as well as this picture of my husband wearing one, topped with some sort of wildflower that I picked.


No need to thank me. The look on my husband's face when he realizes that not only did I pervert the opening line to Pride & Prejudice for my own use, but also posted a silly picture of him on the Internet will be thanks enough. But hey--he went out in public in that hat, and by the rules set forth by this blog, that makes this picture fair game.

The Great Pumpkin (Hat)

If there's one vegetable that is synonymous with October, it would have to be the pumpkin. Whether it's nestled in a cornucopia or fashioned into a jack-o-lantern, this is the pumpkin's time to shine. So what would be more appropriate than a pumpkin hat?

Wait, you think pumpkin hats are only for children? Think again, my friends.


There we have it. Two--count 'em, two--adults, wearing pumpkin hats. And unless they live in a general store, it appears that they are out in public, wearing them proudly. To which I can only give a massive thumbs-up to, as well as awarding points for nifty sunglasses.

As for the inclusion of circus peanuts, I leave that up to the judges' discretion.

The Way of The Ninja (Bunny)

Every once in a while, there comes along an issue that is so divisive, so polarizing, that people cannot see eye-to-eye on the matter. It creates a "with us or against us" mentality that hasn't been seen since McCarthyism. Just to think about it makes the blood pressure spike on both sides of the argument, and to even dare to bring it up in mixed company is tantamount to asking for things to get ugly. It can turn friends into enemies, and break up families better than giving them their own reality show series ever could. And to think; all of this heartbreak and headache over a simple question as to who is superior--pirates or ninja?

Why, what did you think I was talking about? C'mon, people: this is a hat blog. Like I was even going to go there. Now please, put the pitchforks down. You're scaring the children.

Yes, this debate has torn apart much of geekdom, and while I have to admit that I am somewhat biased towards pirates, I have to say that there is something to be said for ninja. Particularly when crossed with bunnies, as the below picture will illustrate.


See that? That's a ninja bunny hat, as modeled by my lovely housemate, Rufus. Not only does it have long, lop-like ears for added cuteness, but the ears can be wrapped around the face and head for maximum warmth without having to mess with additional winter garb (in other words, scarves.) Just grab the hat, and you're set!

Granted, I don't know much about ninja, but I have a feeling they would approve of such a hat, which means that ninja can't be all bad. Be that as it may, I'm not going to change my affiliation just yet. PIRATES FOR LIFE!

King Of Wild Frontier

There are fewer hats in this world that are more unmistakably American than the coonskin cap. American icons such as Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett are generally depicted as wearing them, and during the early days of the Cold War, no little boy's outfit was complete without a coonskin cap perched on his head. As hats go, coonskin caps might be right up there with apple pie for pure, honest-to-goodness Americana.

Which makes a certain amount of sense, seeing as coonskin caps were worn in America long before there even was an America. The origins of the coonskin cap can be traced back to the Native American tribes who lived in the areas now known as Tennessee and Kentucky (no idea which tribes in particular, since the details seem to be a little fuzzy on that score.) When the European pioneers starting settling in the Volunteer and Bluegrass States, they decided they liked the hat just as much as they liked the land, so they took both.

In other words, we got the coonskin hat by way of yet another good 'ol American tradition: cultural appropriation. Also, Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps; he never wore them in life, preferring felt ones. The Truth: IT BURNS.

Anywho, the modern take on the coonskin cap doesn't necessarily have to be made out of fur. In fact, the modern take on the coonskin cap can be remarkably synthetic, right down to the bushy tail. But for those brave souls who don't give a flipping fart about what PETA thinks, coonskin caps are available in varying levels of raccoon involvement, be it just the tail or the whole shebang. For those who truly want to kick it old-school, you can even get them as the Native Americans truly intended them to be; complete with a raccoon face, looking blindly out at the world.

In any event, this entirely wordy post is brought to you by our very first submission to Heinous Hats. We have Squirrel Girl (AKA Elizabeth,) rocking the modern version of the coonskin cap at church.


Ain't she purty? Almost looks like she could've shot a b'ar when she was only three.

...Great. Now I've got that song stuck in my head. I hate it when things backfire like that. But thanks for the submission, Squirrel Girl!

...

Want you and your hat featured here? Send a photo to m.rose.evans@ gmail.com!

Why is a raven like a writing desk, anyway?

According to certain information in my inbox, today--October 6th--is Mad Hatter Day. It's a holiday that I'm certain many of us have never heard of, and I questioned whether or not I should even make mention of it here, but after mulling it over my morning cup of coffee, I concluded that it should be mentioned here. Why?

1. Leah loved made-up holidays. Her far-and-away favorite was Talk Like A Pirate Day, and she played that one to the hilt; dressing up like a pirate, talking in pirate-speak and I believe she even made her own grog a couple of times.
2. Any holiday that involved nonsense and wearing hats? She would have been all over that like cat hair on black slacks. The fact that the holiday itself was conceived by computer geeks just makes it even more likely, since she traveled in those circles.

So on this October morning, I hope all of you will dig out your most outrageous hat*, dust off your teapot and add a little more light-hearted nonsense to the world. Or sense, as the case may be.


Also, feel free to check out the Facebook group for more details. Because nothing makes a holiday more fun than finding others who celebrate it.


*And if you do, don't forget to take a picture of it and send it to me at m.rose.evans@gmail.com. Y'know, if you feel inclined and stuff.

Greetings!

And welcome to Heinous Hats, where our mission is to celebrate outrageous hats and the brave souls who wear them in public.

Now, with an explanation like that, you're probably wondering why on earth this blog is entitled "Heinous Hats." I mean, the word 'heinous' has some pretty negative connotations (just look at the definition if you have any lingering doubts,) so why would it be included in the title of blog that is intended to be positive in nature, as opposed to negative? The reason for that is both personal and lengthy.

You see, my friend, Leah, went by the handle of heinous. She also had quite possibly the largest collection of funky hats ever amassed. And I'm not saying that she had a bunch of Cat-In-The-Hat-style hats in varying color combinations; I'm talking about viking helmets, squid hats, shark hats, steampunk top hats, hats with bobbles in abundance and more. That isn't to say that she didn't have some more sedate ones, but it's the wild ones, the fantastically over-the-top ones, that those who knew her remember best.

For the astute readers out there, you might have noticed that all references in that last paragraph are in the past tense. That's because Leah left this world on September 10, 2009. There aren't enough words in the English language to convey how much I miss her, so I decided to make a website devoted to her accessory of choice. Touching back on the name thing, it only makes sense that a website created in her honor would be named after her (and frankly, everything I came up with using her name just sounded unbelievably hokey. The best I came up with was "Leah's Lids," and I'm pretty sure she'd come back from the beyond and throttle me if I went with that. Or dump a glass of water over my head. Both are equally likely.)

So, in the interest of keeping her memory alive, I am looking for any and all submissions of people wearing what my Grandpa Meyer would call "hats with character." Whether they're umbrella hats, exaggerated stocking caps or coonskin caps (PETA's going to hate me,) I want to see some awesome hats in my inbox. Because I whenever I see people rocking a magnificently out-there hat I think of Leah, and it makes me smile.

And really, couldn't we all use a smile here and there?