Well, it's been 2010 for at least half a day now. Feel any different?
Probably not, but then again, it never does right off the bat. Unless you hit the hard stuff harder than you originally thought, which means 2010 probably does feel a little different. The light is far too bright, all sounds are bound and determined to split your skull down the middle, and your mouth feels like a car of cotton balls.
Oh, wait--that's not the new year: that's your hangover. Oops.
But that's okay--I'm not here to judge. In fact, I'll do you one better and offer up the perfect hat for you to wear while you're being forced to resemble a human being today: the wool floppy hat.
Yeah, I know floppy hats are more of a summer thing, but the nice thing about woolen floppy hats are that they're better insulated, so not only will they keep your head warm, they'll also keep that ice pack you've got conveniently stashed underneath nice and cool.
Another nice thing about the woolen floppy hat is that with their wide brims, they easily shade the eyes from even the most invasive forms of that irksome light. Add a pair of sunglasses, and you've officially cut that evil day star known as the sun off at the pass.
Speaking of wide brims, they also hide your face just enough so that people can't get enough of a good look at you, so that neatly cuts out all those maddeningly unhelpful comments about how rough you look.
Yep, there's nothing a wool floppy hat can't do. Besides, they're a lot better-looking than that baseball cap you used to resort to back in college.
So there we have it, folks; woolen floppy hats are the perfect post-New Year celebration hangover headgear. As are black coffee, lots of water, Advil, fruit juice, and possibly a hair of the dog that bit you.
No need to thank me. I'm here to help. Now go back to bed.