Moo

As I've mentioned before in this blog, Oldest Sis, Middle Sis and I spent a chunk of our elementary years in after-school programs. For the most part, this meant spending the hours between 2PM and 6PM with other kids from all over the SBCSC; doing homework, playing on the playground, being mentored by Notre Dame college students and the occasional structured activity (re: the dance/piano lessons.) But if anything stands out about that time, it has got to be the field trip to the dairy farm.

You see, Internets, despite the fact that South Bend is, in fact, in Indiana (also known as The Land of Corn,) it's also a city. A city of rather surprising size, in fact. It's nowhere near Chicago, Detroit or Indianapolis in population, but it is large enough and busy enough that if it weren't for the fact that there is a St. Joseph County 4-H fair every year, the people there could quite easily forget that they are surrounded on all sides by Farm Country, and that occasionally said farms might include livestock.

In short, not a darned one of us had any idea what a dairy farm entailed. So when we were lead by Ms. Austin, our head watcher and well-known clean freak, onto a school bus one cold, rainy November afternoon, none of us really knew what to expect. But suffice to say, what followed could be summed up as "hilarity ensued."

Now in the dairy farm's defense, had the trip been on a day when it wasn't chilly and damp it might not have been so bad. After all, anyplace can be considered miserable if visited during inclement weather, no matter what it is. But there is something about the combined sensations of standing in the rain, shoes sinking into the cold mud and the pervasive smells of wet cow and wet cow manure that tends to not sit well with people who weren't adequately prepared for the experience. And when I say "people who weren't adequately prepared," I mean Ms. Austin. She apparently thought we'd just be seeing the end result of dairy farming--cheese, milk, that kind of stuff--and was not ready for getting up close and personal with a bunch of bovines.

To be fair, she did try. After her initial reaction to the farm (which was to go ashen in color,) she did try and rally for the sake of us kids. That is, until a cow chose to relieve itself right in front of her. That brought the field trip to a screeching halt, and everybody was back on the bus and on our way back to civilization while Ms. Austin tried to regain composure. And by "regain composure," I mean no longer sounding like she was going to toss her cookies.

Needless to say, every time I see a cow, I think of Ms. Austin. It's probably not the mental leap she'd like, but when your first time ever seeing a cow is paired with seeing an authority figure having a level-five freak-out because said cow took a leak, it's hard not to make the association. Kind of like how I think of my dad and firework accidents, but that's another story for another time.

So, now having said that, who's up for some cow hats?

Oh, Delux--is there any creature you haven't rendered in hat and mitten form?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I'm just curious.

Lest we forget, Holsteins are not the only kind of cattle out there, as this artsy Highland cow hat reminds us.

But then again, when's the last time you saw anything other than a Holstein do this:

Granted, I don't think I've ever seen a Holstein smile either, but you have to admit--they do look real cute when they smile in hat form.

Yes, I know I've been featuring Snug As A Bug on here a lot lately. Blame them. They keep making hats that are relevant to my interests, like this one.

It's the buttons on this one that does it for me, even if it does look like the poor cow hat has conjunctivitis.

For those of you who have always wondered what a mix between a scarf hat and a cow hat would look like, look no further than this Babe the Blue Ox-inspired number.

Somehow, I feel like this shot is supposed to evoke memories of the old-school labels of the Elmer's Glue bottles, but somehow it's just not working. Needs more daisies and a less severe expression, I think.

The hat is pretty awesome, though.

And that's it for today. See you Wednesday!