Corn That Tastes Like Candy

Please don't sue me, Brach's.

So for those of you who read Friday's post, you might recall that there was a picture in there that also featured candy corn hats. Originally, that was as far as I was willing to go with the candy corn hats, until yesterday, when I was reminded of this bit by comedian Lewis Black about the aforementioned holiday treat (Note: It gets a little NSFW at the end.) Once I heard it again, I knew I needed to do a candy corn hats post.

You see, Internets, I can't say I entirely disagree with Mr. Black when it comes to candy corn. To my knowledge, I can't recall ever seeing an advertisement for candy corn; those variety bags of "fun-sized" candy bars, certainly, but never candy corn. They also don't taste all that great. They don't taste terrible, but let's face it, they don't taste all that special, either. On the whole, they're like the autumnal version of those chalky conversation hearts that keep reappearing every Valentine's Day; they're an underwhelming "treat" (and boy, am I using that term lightly,) that owes their annual return to the fact that they've got ties to a holiday.

But darn it, they just look so festive. Look at 'em, all pretty and fall-colored and stuff, sitting in that glass candy dish. Like a pumpkin on a porch, the month of October just doesn't seem right without a bowl of candy corn gathering dust on a coffee table.

All in all, the only thing I don't agree with Mr. Black on is that I don't believe that the candy company just keeps reselling the same batch year after year after year. If we've finally been able to prove that Twinkies do have a shelf life, I'm thinking that candy corn probably does, too. The jury's still out on the conversation hearts, though.

So on that note, let's get to the candy corn hats, shall we?

First up, we've got this charming little knit pattern from Material Whirled. And it's FREE.

...Seriously. If you know how to knit, there is no excuse not to make this hat.

Next up, we've got this anime-inspired candy corn hat, doing an impression of the :3 emoticon.

From the same site, there's also this candy corn-inspired hat.

I'm not sure which part of it is cuter; the little candy corn detail off to the side or the pom-pom on top.

Seeing as candy corn hats managed to sneak into Friday's pumpkin hats post, it's only fair that pumpkin hats get to return the favor today.

And to turn the knife just a little, there's even a ghost hat. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?!

And finally, just because I like 'em, here's some decorative felted candy corn:

Well, if you're concerned about the possibility of wasting money on a bowl full of candy that may or may not get eaten, I'd say these make for a handy decorative alternative. Plus, they're the perfect size for lobbing at people. You really can't say the same for the actual candy; it's like comparing boulders to pebbles, really.

See you Wednesday!