Every once in a while, I find that there are things that are only tolerable when within a certain context. For example; if you want to preach at me, I will be infinitely more tolerant if you happen to be standing at a podium in a place of worship at the time than if you decide to show up at my front door before I've even had a chance to get my first cup of coffee. Similarly, I generally handle compliments regarding my appearance better from people I know well/care about than I do if said "compliments" are shouted from the window of a passing car by a complete stranger. And--most relevantly to this post--I expect to encounter wild creatures out in the natural world; if I'm in my own darn house, the only critters that will not be subjected to panicked screams are ones that a vet will treat. Anything not meeting that requirement will be be subject to mental Caps Lock statements as GET IT OUT or KILL IT.
The reason I bring this up is because a bat got into the house a month or so ago. Not sure how it did, but it did, and I did not handle it very well. Granted, I think I had every reason in the world not to handle it well as that bats are basically plague monkeys with wings, but it was pointed out to me after it was safely ejected from the house that cowering in fear while holding my laptop in a defensive position over my head falls neatly under the category of Things That Are Not Helpful At All.
And you know, it really wasn't. Because it's not like this was the first time I'd seen a bat. I've seen them both at the zoo and out in the wild, and neither time was I terribly concerned about them. However, upon seeing that fur-bearing biohazard swooping erratically around the living room, my ability to be helpful was too busy being overpowered by the fear of possibly contracting something that is most likely to turn up as the disease of the week on House.
Again, it all comes back to acceptable contexts. Bats are fine as long as they're outside killing bugs or in an exhibit at the zoo. In my house, my opinion on bats becomes more along the lines of Samuel L. Jackson's sentiments about the presence of serpents on a fixed-wing aircraft, except a whole lot less along the lines of BAMF.
Hey, at least I admit it. Now let's look at some bat hats.
Even without the telltale wings, this hat definitely still works as a fleecy representation of a bat. I'm thinking it's the fangs that sells it.
This top hat kind of confuses me. Is it meant to be worn, or is it supposed to be a high-concept conversation piece?
This bat hat might just be the cutest rendering of a bat ever, outside of the header image.
This one, on the other hand, apparently opted to go more for the spooky route. Which, to my mind, IS ONLY FITTING.
In the end, bats are freaky flying creatures carrying potential pestilence, and you should totally be scared of them. Bat hats, on the other hand are pretty much harmless, outside of the possibility of causing you to pose for silly pictures on the Internet like the following one:
Bat hats: Wear them responsibly, Internets.
See you Wednesday!
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