Shiny, Happy Robots

Everyone has a morning routine, and part of mine is that I must read my web comics. It's something pleasurable I can do while sucking down my first cup day of coffee of the day, and no matter how my day turns out, I can at least say that it started out with a smile on my face.

Unless, of course, you read certain web comics like xkcd. Then you run the risk of waking up to comics like this, and today is definitely one of those days.

Since there's nothing that pulls at the heartstrings quite like a sad robot (see Wall-E,) I felt it necessary to look for some cheerful, happy robot hats today.

Aww, such a happy little robot. Even though it looks like it's gritting it's teeth, it looks so cheerful, being all orange and stuff, sitting at a jaunty angle. Kind of makes me wish the seller continued making them.

...So, how much money do you think it would take to convince this lady to make a hat like this for me?

Okay--this one doesn't look too particularly happy, seeing as it lacks a mouth and stuff, but I like the model's orange frames, so it's going on here.

And yes, I know that getting upset about a rover being stuck on Mars is silly, seeing as the rover lacks the sentience to even formulate the concept of home, let alone the desire to return to it. Be that as it may, I suppose there is some sort of comfort in knowing that the rover is alright, because the Rover Twitter tells me so (yes, the Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity really do have a Twitter account. They also have names. Don't ask how I know this--I just do.)

But just in case, here's a special note just for Spirit:

01010100011010000110000101110100001001110110110001101100001000000110010001

1011110010110000100000011100100110111101110110011001010111001000101110001000

00001000000101010001101000011000010111010000100111011011000110110000100000

011001000110111100101110

See you next week, everyone!

Sweet Cuppin' Cakes

Who doesn't love a cupcake? Honestly, as desserts go, they are practically perfect; they come in compact servings, they have a wrapper (the frilly paper,) they come in all sorts of flavors, and they just look so darn cute. They're like the cooler cousin of the muffin.

And so, with that thought in mind, today is all about cupcake hats. Because we all could use a little sweetness about us, even if it is just our hats.

Whether or not you want to pose with actual cupcakes while wearing your cupcake hat is entirely up to you.

Considering how many people like to pair things with crossbones, I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone went the cupcake-and-crossbones route.

If you want to go for cuteness overload, you can even pair your cupcake hat with a panda T-shirt.

You can even get fancy with them and add a brim, if you want. That's the nice thing about knitted hats--with all the patterns out there, you can tweak it however you want to do whatever you need.

I would just probably resist the urge to slap one of these babies on your cat. Judging by this cat's expression, they just don't appreciate cupcake hats enough.

In the eye of the Tiger

According to my sources, tomorrow is the Chinese New Year, which means parades, fireworks and all sorts of good times for many. So today, we'll be looking at hats that involve the animal of the year: tigers.

Yep, 2010 is the Year of the Tiger, so people born in this year are the eastern equivalent of Aquarius. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (although I have to wonder what the other half is. My bets are that it involves duct tape. And possibly peanut brittle.)

Anywho, if you're like me and aren't able to celebrate the arrival of the Year of the Tiger, you can still rock a tiger-themed hat.

For those of us who live in warmer climes, you can wear something a little lighter and feathery.

If you live somewhere a bit more on the chilly side, there's always the knitted hat-and mittens combo.

Or if you're a bit on the crafty side, maybe just a simply knitted kitty hat, made up with tiger stripes.

Or if you're feeling a little bit daring, perhaps a furry tiger hat would suit you best. It's your call, but I think I've made my case that anyone can wear a tiger hat and wear it well. So what's stopping you?

P.S. For the curious ones, I had a lovely time with my friends this weekend, and was sorry that it had to end so quickly. But a little time spent among those you hold dear is better than none, I say.

Monkeying Around

Ah, the sock monkey. That stalwart fixture of North American childhood, right up there with the teddy bear. It's no surprise that it's a popular knit pattern for hats, although--like with many things on this continent--it does seem to be up for interpretation.

For example: Here, we have a classic take on the sock monkey hat, complete with matching mittens:

Aww, aren't they cute?

Next, we have a variation on that theme, in that the sock monkey hat is actually based on the hat the sock monkey wears, as opposed to a hat that resembles the sock monkey's entire head:

Not bad, huh? I particularly like how she made a matching scarf for the hat.

Then, we've got a more spartan approach to the sock monkey hat:

Hey--in these times of want, we can't very well be wasting yarn on fancy things like ears that look like someone left both of the back doors on a taxi cab wide open or a bobble ginormous enough to shelter a family of five, can we?

And finally, we have...actually, I don't know what we have here. But you've got to admit, it's original:

I don't know the story behind this one, but somehow I get the feeling that someone couldn't make up their mind as to what they wanted to make more--a sock monkey or a sock monkey hat--so they figured they'd split the difference.

And that's it for this week. Yes, I know it's a short one, but I'll be away later this week visiting with friends and I have a hunch that spending loads of time searching the Internet for wacky hats is not conducive to being a good house guest (or so I'm told.)

Have a good week, everyone, and I'll be seeing you on Monday!

Beyond the Veil

Confession time: I'm a sucker for Rosalind Russell movies, and a Rosalind Russell fan in general. Blame it on Auntie Mame, as that that was the first film of hers I saw, and I've been gleefully hooked ever since. The lady was sharp, smart and was comfortable with both serious acting as well as slapstick comedy. What's not to like?

Of course, it doesn't hurt that many of her acting roles incorporated some fantastic hats as a part of her costume. It also doesn't hurt that she looked amazing in all of them , either.

In any event, I was watching the 1939 version of The Women recently, and noticed that not only was Ms. Russell the only actress who wore some sort of hat in every single scene of the movie, but also that just about every one of them incorporated a veil. Which brings me to today's topic: veiled hats.

There is something delightfully retro about a hat with a veil, isn't there? Especially when the veil isn't very tightly woven, so that more of the person's features are revealed. It has a sort of peek-a-boo quality about it.

Another thing about veiled hats is that they're remarkably versatile. Whether it's a casual night spent out with the ladies or a more sophisticated meeting with the object of your affections, these hats really can do it all.

Whether you wear it with a button-down blouse and a chunky necklace...

...Or a tastefully simple black ensemble, a veiled hat will still rise to the occasion.

Heck, you don't even have to wear the veil over your face, if that's not your thing. Like I said before, these hats? VERSATILE.

So seriously, if you have the opportunity to wear one, I heartily suggest that you do so. Also, you should totally skip the recent remake of The Women and watch the original. Yes, it's dated (it's from 1939, for crying out loud,) and there are parts that will make you cringe a bit, but seeing Rosalind Russell ham it up in those hats is worth every minute.

And if that's not enough of an incentive for you, it's got Joan Crawford in it, and she's got really, really thin eyebrows.

And now, a serious post from HH

As I am sure we all know by know, Haiti was struck by a major earthquake this Tuesday, where an estimated three million people have been effected, nearly half a million of which died as a result. And since many hospitals were wrecked in the initial earthquake or during the aftershocks and therefore abandoned, there are literally millions of people who are in need of assistance that isn't readily available.

If you are able to help but unsure how, Chris Sacca has six ways you can help in Haiti. Even if all you have is five or ten bucks that you can spare, you can help Haiti recover from this tragedy.

Also, UNICEF has teamed up with CafePress, releasing a line of items that the proceeds of will be donated towards the provision of clean water, temporary shelter, medical supplies and other necessities for children displaced by the earthquake, as well as also helping children orphaned by the earthquake reunite with their extended families. Most of what they offer are T-shirts and tote bags, but they do have one hat:

It's not much to look at, really, but when you consider that that hat may mean fresh water, medical attention, a place to sleep and being able to find a family for a child whose world was turned upside down on Tuesday, I think we can all agree that it's worth it.

The Fever Lives On

Recently, this website showing 100 game-themed cupcakes has been making the rounds, delighting gaming geeks and baking geeks alike. However, you don't necessarily have to ascribe to either group to find something charming about this website; there's cupcakes showing board games, strategy games and even Tic-Tac-Toe.

But for me, I have to admit that there were two cupcakes in particular that warmed my little heart. One of them was the Pac-Man cupcake, which is why today's post is dedicated to Pac-Man hats.

...Yes, they exist.

See? You could wear a crocheted Pac-Man ghost hat! Available in Pinky, Inky or Clyde! (Blinky, AKA the red one, does not seem to be able to cash in on the love.)

Or you could go full-scale geek and get a matching scarf!

No good lying--I'm really impressed by the scarf. It's a shame that the seller's sold out of them, but it looks like she's got some other game-themed stuff, so if you really love wearable video game nostalgia, I would recommend going over and checking it out. (I'm particularly intrigued by the +1 Mushroom scarf from Mario Bros.)

But what about the Man himself? Doesn't he rate a hat? Well, yes, but...

...It looks more like a helmet. A big, foam helmet. That apparently possesses the ability to make all the wearers of it look a little, well...

...Stunned? Stupefied? Stoned? Not sure what is the word I'm looking for here, but it certainly doesn't seem to be "joy". For the most part, these guys don't seem to have reached the level of mental preparation needed to rock such fantastically geeky hats.

And trust me: when you reach a certain level of fantastic, you really do need to have done some mental preparation. And these guys didn't do that. AT ALL.

So there we have it, and in case anyone was curious about the other cupcake that thrilled me, that would be the Tetris one. Because I really, really love Tetris, but that one doesn't seem to lend itself easily to the hat world. The knitted afghan world and shelving unit world, yes, but not the hat world, which I suppose is as it should be.

It's all about the antlers, baby.

Before I get inundated with emails: Yes, I am fully aware that the moose is not a symbol of Canada. That honor actually belongs jointly to the beaver and the Canadian horse. However, you can't knock the fact that Canada is pretty rife with moose to the point where it is a species of animal that is synonymous with the True North.

Anywho, since it's been a while since we looked at some decidedly more outrageous hats, I decided that--it being Monday and all--we could use a little something fun. And what could be more fun than a moose hat?

I mean, just look at this guy. He looks like he's having loads of fun wearing this thing.

So does she, if by "fun" we mean "looks a little uncertain about the antlers". But that's the price of being awesome sometimes; you have to be careful that you don't smack everyone in close orbit with your antlers". Or something like that.

Of course, many of us can't afford to be worrying about antlers all day. No worries--this hat set's got you covered.

Ta-da! Not only does it have a set of antlers much more conducive to every-day living, but it also comes with a set of matching mittens. What more could a person ask for?

They have a certain je ne sais quoi.

...And no, that isn't the extent of all the French I know. I know the French word for grapefruit (psst--it's "pamplemousse.")

In any event, as you might have guessed from all the French and the lead-in picture, today is shaping up to be a beret kind of day. Because if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that the go-to winter hat for many women is the knit beret.


Personally, I think the reason why the knit beret has become such a staple is because they're so versatile. You can make these suckers as simple or a complicated as you want.


It probably also doesn't hurt that they make you look like a serious artiste.


For those of us who want to rock an Aretha Franklin-style hat but are a bit more timid, why not go for a beret with a bow?

Of course, if you're not a fan of the big bows, there's always the little ones.


You see?

And if you aren't a bow kind of person, there's still a knit beret for you.


Personally, I really like this one. Something about that stitched belt-buckle just tickles me.

Of course, I am fully aware that there are those out there who are obsessed with all things organic. Never fear; there are berets for you, too.

See? You can be green and stylish at the same time!

Also, for the vegans out there who refuse to wear anything made with wool, I've got a little something for you:


Ta-da! A vegan beret with a rose on it! Because I love you, even if I don't understand some of your crazier aspects (re: PETA.)

And on that note, I bid you all adieu.

I like a hat that can multi-task.

Living in the Snow Belt like I do, you learn pretty quickly that layers of clothing are your best bet for surviving the winter months. You learn that of the three shirts you wear on any given day, one of them had better be thermal. You learn that knee socks and above-the-knee socks are a godsend for keeping your legs warm. And finally, you learn that the three items that you really can't do without are scarves, hats and gloves.

Which is why it doesn't surprise me at all that the scarf hat has made such a comeback in recent years. It combines all three of these things in one item, thereby making it that much less likely you are going to accidentally lose any of the above.


As you can see, it works basically like this: it's a scarf wide that you can drape over your head, wrap around your neck a couple of times and has pockets at the ends that serve as mittens.

Which is actually not a bad idea, all things considered. Hey, considering all the layers we have to put up with, it's nice to know that there's one thing we can pull on and it takes care of three different areas; head, neck and hands.

Although, if you're not too fond of the hood-like hat, there are other options. Observe:


See? This one comes in more of a bobble hat model. The scarf part is also a bit skinnier, so it doesn't have the mitts at the ends. Which is fine if you already have a set of gloves or mittens that are more than capable of taking on winter, but for those of us out there who are looking for a whole new set, you can't get more economically-sound than the hooded kind.

However, I do see one problem with the scarf hat, and that basically has to do with how it's being marketed. Check out this pattern and see if you can find the reason why:


In case you were wondering, the troubling word there is "scenester". Which, if Urban Dictionary is doing its job correctly in keeping me informed, is a derogative term for wannabe scene kids. Not to mention that I don't think a scene kid worth their weight in hair product would actually wear these things: they're just not hardcore enough.

However, I could totally see hipsters jumping all over these things, but I'm not even going to go there. Talking about hipsters is like inviting ravers to the goth club--IT NEVER ENDS WELL. EVER.

So on that note, I'm going to just shut this post down and call it a day, and wonder why the most popular pose for these hats involves a woman looking meditatively away while holding a mug full of a hot drink. I think I'll be safer that way.

An Open Letter To Hat-Knitters

As anyone who's been checking this blog religiously might have noticed, I have a certain weakness for knitted hats. I can't help it; even though they squish every last inch of volume out of my hair and give me nothing but a static electrical charge in exchange, I still have a deep love in my heart for them. A love which I am beginning to suspect is not reciprocated at all by knitted-hat makers.

Why do I say this? Check out the follow examples.

Exhibit A:

...Actually, I think Exhibit A could stand alone on this one, but if there's one thing Law & Order has taught me, it's that there's no such thing as too little evidence. So here's Exhibit B:


And here, have an Exhibit C for good measure:


So, what's wrong with these hats? They're all intended for children, that's what. Apparently, hat-knitters out there seem to be under the impression that adults--having reached a supposedly sensible age--do not want hats with robots on them. In fact, as far as knitted hats for women go, they tend to look a bit like this:


Great. Just what I always wanted. A hat to match those Ugg boots that I don't even like. Fun.

Seriously, though; this is a grave oversight on the behalf of the hat-knitters, because I can think of at least ten adults off the top of my head who would totally wear one of the first three hats listed, and I travel in only mildly geeky circles. Imagine what would happen if the full-frontal nerdity groups discovered someone selling hats like these for adults.

My guess? SALES WOULD GO THROUGH THE ROOF. And last I checked, capitalism was still a major part of the American way, so what do you people have against making buttloads of money?

So please, people who knit hats and sell them on Etsy, I'm begging you: Make some cute hats for adults. Don't waste your talents on solely crafting hats for small children. Diversify, and make this hat blogger a happy, happy woman.