I Want To Ride My Bicycle

First off, I want to say thanks to everyone who sent in their ideas. I...wasn't really sure what to expect when I published Monday's post. Yeah, I know I asked readers for ideas, but I'm going to let you all in on a little secret: I tend to expect the worst out of, well, everything. It's a trait that annoys the bejeezus out of lots of people (my husband in particular,) but let me tell you, Internets, it does wonders in preparing you for any and all disappointments.

To put it bluntly, I threw that post out there with the expectation that I wasn't going get a single response. So when the suggestions started rolling in I was not only pleased, I was genuinely surprised.

So honestly, thank you.

Alright, enough of the sappiness: on to the post!

...

Everyone has a springtime ritual. Maybe you're a spring-cleaning type, or perhaps you start working on your spring and summer garden. My ritual involves my 1960s Ross bike, which I finally get to take out for a spin after having retired it for the winter.

I will admit that I don't wear a helmet when I take my bike out for a spin, which I should probably remedy. Especially since helmets have come a long, long way from those dorky things they used to have back in the day.

Don't believe me? Feast your eyes on this:

I don't know what decade you grew up in, but I can safely say they did not have deerstalker helmets back in 1980s, and we were much the poorer for it. This would have come in super handy back when I went through my badly-advised Encyclopedia Brown/Harriet The Spy phase.

Of course, that's a really fancy helmet. But never fear; even regular helmets have undergone a major change for the awesome.

This delightfully retro-looking helmet is one of many designs that can be found at Nutcase Helmets.

You can get even have your helmet custom-painted by Belle Helmets. Personally, I kinda like the phrenology-skull-themed one pictured above.

Ah, Sanrio. How I love the fact that if it's inanimate, you can find a way to emblazon them with your extensive roster of copyright-protected characters for a profit.

...Mostly because I would totally buy one. My weird affection for Hello Kitty stuff knows no bounds.

Thanks to Z for her idea, as well as the link to the deerstalker helmet!

WANTED: Your Ideas

One of the trickiest parts of being creative is handling the points when creativity is flowing like mud. You do everything you can to keep it rolling, but there are times when inspiration just eludes you like it thinks you're trying to serve it papers.

In other words, I've temporarily run short on ideas for hats to talk about here on HH. Which stinks, because that means there's not much for you to look at or read about today, but what I'm hoping is that maybe, possibly, you can help a blogger out a bit.

You guessed it: I'm asking for reader input.

Maybe there's a kind of hat you'd like to see more of. Maybe there's a kind of hat that I haven't showcased yet, and it's been driving you crazy. Maybe you've got some hats of your own you'd like to show off. Whatever the case may be, think of this as your opportunity to get your voice heard and the chance to see more of what you'd like here on HH. You can leave a comment here on this entry or email me in private over at m.rose.evans@gmail.com; it's your call.

Just please, give me some ideas. Please?

With Regret

Here at HH, we feature a lot of hats found over at that crafty hybrid between Amazon and eBay called Etsy. Since the site debuted in 2005, thousands of people have been able to showcase their talents and their wares, which I think is pretty darned awesome (the fact that there are several Etsy shops linked off to the side is proof enough of that.)

Then again, as with any social site on the Internet, there is a downside. Just like hanging around on Chatroulette means you may see the occasional wang, surfing Etsy may result in stumbling upon on some items that are just, well, awful.

Which is where Regretsy comes into play, because Helen Killer (AKA April Winchell) has absolutely no problem calling out the mildly awkward to the NSFW wrong. (P.S. That 'NSFW' is very much so a hint. The content of this site is better viewed in the privacy of your own home and with a lot of brain bleach on hand. Take my word for it; IT CAN GET THAT BAD.)

So, because it's Friday, we're going to take a look at a sampling of some of the offerings found within Regretsy. And since this is HH, you get three guesses as to what those offerings are going to be, and the first two don't count.

Click on the pics if you want the full Regretsy experience.

I'll admit it; I've seen better owl hats than this. Heck, I did an entire post of better owl hats than this (with the possible exception of the last one, anyway. That one still gives me pause.) And what's with the mice on the wing? No self-respecting owl would allow that, especially in flight.

All in all, this hat strikes me as an example of someone who wanted to make her own Lady Gaga type hat, and it just fell short of the mark.

Um, I'm pretty sure I survived last fall and winter without this hat rather swimmingly, thank you very much. I'm pretty sure a lot of the rest of you did the same, too.

Also, claiming something is "couture" does not necessarily make it so. I could claim that Hello Kitty Crocs are couture, but we'd all know I'm lying my butt off. Those puffballs look like mold, and there is nothing high-fashion about mold.

...You have got to be kidding me. This hat is just...I can't...I don't even.

And that's it for this week. Now if you don't mind, I think I need to add a little brain bleach to my coffee.

Fascinating

Every once in a while, a person decides they need a change in palate. If you've had a little too much of the rich and heavy, it's always a welcome change to reach for something light and fluffy. So when you consider the sheer weight of all the hats featured over the wintertime (not to mention the hats featured in Monday's post; hats with goggles and gears ain't light, ya'll,) I think you might be able to understand why I'm feeling the need for something decidedly gentler on the old noggin.

Which is why today we're going to be looking at fascinators. They're somewhat similar to mini hats in that they're somewhat small and pretty much exclusive to women, but these are a lot more fluffy. Like, ridiculously fluffy. Kind of like that drink I posted at the start. Check 'em out!

See? What did I tell you?

Nothing says "light" like a fascinator made of butterflies.

Of course, if you're not a fan of having lots of stuff sticking straight up off the top of your head, there are fascinators out there for you, too.

Awww, it's it sweet? (P.S. Watch out for this link--the main page of the site plays music, so you might want to turn your speakers off first. Especially if you're at work.)

This one also keeps it simple. Or simpler, if you want to be picky about it.

...Do I even need to mention that PETA is probably going to have a problem with the majority of these hats, especially if you go with real feathers? Or can we just take that as a given?

For those of us who mourn the fact that we are too old for those headbands from childhood that were studded with rosettes, weep no more!

In case you were wondering if it was possible to find a fascinator that wasn't wildly colored, I offer up this black one as evidence that, yes, there are such things as sober-colored fascinators.

But I think it may just go without saying that they're certainly not the norm.

By this point, I bet some of you are wondering to yourselves, "I wonder if they make any of these for bridal wear?" It's a fair point to ponder, as that they would make a welcome departure from the usual tiara-or-veil binary brides seem to find themselves in nowadays.

Wonder no more!

See you Friday, folks!

Steam-Powered Haberdashery

Yeah, you read that demotivator macro right; today's post is a lot like President Lincoln with his right arm modded with a Gatling gun. A more accurate definition would be to switch Honest Abe with Queen Victoria, but the Gatling gun arm would still be accurate. And awesome, in a "tyrannosaurs in F-14s" kind of way.

Now while there's a lot of cool stuff that can be modded to fit steampunk standards (a steampunk laptop, for example,) I am going to do my darnedest to stick to the theme at hand, which would be hats. In this particular instance, that would be steampunk hats.

"But wait," I hear some of you asking, "how can you *mod* a hat?" Easy; just keep scrolling, and I'll show you.

First and foremost, you need to add cogs and wheels. Cogs and wheels are very prevalent in the majority of steampunk design and hats are no different, except that in this case they're more for looks than function.

However, there are no rules about adding some flowers, if that's your thing.

The same could easily be said about feathers, although you can expect PETA to disapprove if you opt to go with real ones as opposed to fake.

Or you could skip cogs and wheels altogether and go with a design that is decidedly more based on corsetry than mechanics.

At this point, you might have noticed that a lot of the hats featured so far are along the lines of top hats or newsboy caps. While they are pretty dominant in the scene, you don't have to wear one if you don't want to, as the next hat will show.

See? You could just as easily rock a modded bonnet (with cogs and wheels, of course,) and still fit in. As long as the hat you wear is (relatively) historically accurate to the steampunk era, you can wear it. You're just going to have to modify it a little.

If you're not content with just cogs and wheels, another thing you could add to your hat is a pair of goggles. Bonus points will be awarded if they actually work.

And finally, there's always the wind-up option, which could make for a very heavy head by the end of the day, but would definitely wow your peers at the convention (or whatever it is they said when they were deeply impressed back then. Zounds? Huzzah? Peachy-keen? I have no idea.)

My Beautiful Balloon (Hat)

As any kid will tell you, if you've got a balloon you've got yourself a party. Whether it's a balloon meant to be filled with air or water, these suckers are a nearly endless source of entertainment (because, well, they do pop or deflate eventually.) And even if it's not filled with helium or meant as a weapon of damp destruction, you can still use those suckers to create a static electrical charge and stick them to the wall.

And, of course, there's always balloon hats. Yeah, back in my day, the best you could hope for were balloon animals, but apparently there's been several leaps and bounds on that front since I was in elementary school, as evident by some of the things I've seen kids and adults wearing at local summer festivals in recent times.

Also, apparently we no longer have to rely on clowns for these things, which is great for those of us who suffer from coulrophobia.

You know what this means: balloon hats today on HH!

...C'mon, people. Think about whose hat blog you're reading. Of course there's going to be a viking balloon hat on here.

I'm not sure whether I should be impressed at the balloon hat or disturbed by the fact it seems to match her outfit just a little too closely.

Nothing says "patriotism" like a head full of static electricity.

Awww. How could you not love a sheepish dude in a love bug balloon hat?

Something tells me this hat is not destined for the natural demise of deflation. Nope. This has ACCIDENTALLY BRUSHED IT ALONG TEXTURED CEILING written all over it.

Say what you will about 'ol Spongebob Squarepants; he makes a pretty nifty balloon hat.

Kicking it old-school, the same could be said for that wascally wabbit, Bugs Bunny.

And that's it for this week. If you have any complaints about today's post, please take them up with this dude:

Read This: It's Irish

Like so many American mutts, I've got some Irish mixed into my heritage, so one would think that I'd be all over celebrating St. Patrick's Day like a college fraternity on a 50% sale at the local beer and liquor store. While the nature of the holiday is such that everybody's Irish on March 17th, there seems to be a certain source of pride in being able to lay claim to some honest-to-goodness Celtic background on this day, creating a deep-seated compulsion to go out and whoop it up. So you might want to sit yourself down (if you're not already,) because I've got a shocking confession for you: I don't celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Not like that, anyway.

Now, it's not because I'm a Debbie Downer and refuse to celebrate because it's a holiday based on religious intolerance (snakes being a symbolic reference to pagans and all,) nor is it because I'm some stick-in-the-mud who feels irked by the stereotyped behavior of the holiday (Irish people get drunk, so get drunk!) Nope, the reason I don't celebrate St. Patrick's Day is actually really simple: I don't like bars, crowds or beer.

...Okay, maybe that is a pretty stick-in-the-mud approach to it, but it's the truth. And frankly, I'd rather not ruin anyone else's fun by getting annoyed by been stifled in a bar crammed full of people bedecked in shamrocks and having green beer spilled on my shoes. So I just steer clear of the bar district and wear green because I'd rather not get pinched.

Oh, and I eat potatoes. But I'd eat those anyway, because they're freakin' delicious and go with everything except stir fry.

But as a way of paying homage to the holiday, today on HH we'll be looking at green hats. Why? Because if Ireland really does have forty shades of green, then why just settle on a kelly green plastic bowler? Dare to be different, darn it!*

As not-necessarily-festive hats go, this one strikes me as perfect for a night out celebrating. It's cute, it's green and you don't have to worry about it getting swiped from your head.

Once again, the Internet provides proof that there is a kitty hat for every occasion; all you need is the right color of yarn, and you're set!

Nothing says 'class act' like a fedora. A green fedora just oozes class as well as a little bit of daring.

This one is probably the lightest color of green I could find without threatening to burn out my retinas. It's also a knit version of Aretha Franklin's iconic Inauguration hat, so if you'd like to make one for yourself, click here for instructions.

This soft green hat also comes with a scarf, which should be pretty handy for those of us who live in areas where no amount of a beer coat is going to keep us warm.

Like those of us with a green sticker stuck to our lapels, sometimes all you need is a little green. The rosette on this hat definitely qualifies, and it's big enough that there is no earthly way people could miss it, thus saving you from the whole "HAH--I PINCH YOU; OH, YOU HAD GREEN ON? MY BAD" mess.

And lastly, while they're not hats, they are hat-shaped and I think they're cute, so I'm posting them anyway:

St. Patrick's Day Dog Biscuits! Because even your dog is Irish on March 17th. Just don't give him any green beer, please. That never ends well.

*But you might want to hold off on wearing an orange PICK A FIGHT WITH ME--I'M PROTESTANT T-shirt. There's different, and then there's courting disaster.

Here, fishy-fishy-fishy...

The following is how my thought processes work sometimes.

1. Over the past few months, HH has seen quite a few posts about aquatic creatures in hat form (EX: squid hats, octopus hats and whale hats .)
2. On average, these kinds of posts happen once every month and a half.
3. People really seem to dig these posts, so why not do a quick post on fish hats?

And on that note, let's get to the hats!

Considering the continuing popularity of Finding Nemo, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that any search for 'fish hats' pops up several clown fish caps. However, this one stood out from the rest because, well, when's the last time you saw a blue clown fish?

Also, dude made this hat himself out of a plush toy, and posted a tutorial online so you could make your own.

Nothing quite sets off a pink fish hat like pulling a guppy impression.

Before I started this blog, had someone told me that knitted dead fish hats would be intensely popular, I would have been somewhat skeptical. Now, well...

...Let's just say that I'm rather sad that I don't own one, myself. Who knew dead fish could look so cute?

Pi Day

Before anyone asks, yes; I know today is Sunday and not Monday. My brains have not been so addled by the end of Daylight Savings Time and springing the clocks forward one hour earlier this morning. But today is a special day, so I'm breaking the rules just a tiny bit.

What day is that, you might ask? It's Pi Day! Yes, that irrational number you recall from math class in middle school has a holiday all its own, and that day is today. And you know what that means: Pi hats.

Which, I might add, are really freakin' hard to find. Most Pi hats appear in the form of baseball caps/trucker hats sold by various online boutiques, and while there's nothing wrong with those (well, I've got my own beef against trucker hats, but that's admittedly personal,) they're not quite HH fare. But dagnabbit, I found two, which I will now share with you.

You're welcome.

Not entirely certain what curved Pi means (read here and see if you can figure it out,) but you have to give a guy credit for wearing a hat that appears to have been made from a halved basketball. That can't be comfortable.

Sometimes, the best way to represent your beloved irrational number is to simply have it stitched into the brim of your hat. Granted, that probably limits how many places you can write it out, but I think that's okay.

Happy Pi Day, everyone!