It's Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Since it's Friday, the last day of April and I'm just feeling pretty silly in general, let's have some banana hats, shall we?

This one is probably the least, shall we say, "suggestive" of all the banana hats. And you could totally make one for yourself!

I don't know who Amanda Rodd is, but based on this sample of her work, I think I like her work. A lot.

...You know how sometimes there are phrases that just make no sense to you, and you find yourself thinking over them, occasionally muttering them under your breath, trying to figure them out?

Yeah, "banana technology" just became that phrase for me. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!

Of course, if you like your banana sliced so you can add it to your Well-Balanced Breakfast, it would appear that this hat has you covered.

So before I make any bad banana-related jokes, I'm going to split. See you Monday!

...

Crap.

Mean Swans

I'm just going to come right out and say it: swans are the Mean Girls of the Anatidae family. They're pretty and get a lot of good press because how pretty they are (to the point that they are featured prominently in various mythologies across the world, natch,) but once you get beyond all the hype, you'll find that they're actually some of the nastiest pieces of work ever to be born with feathers.

The thing that really drives the similarity home is that tons of people are completely aware that swans are evil little birds, but they continue to admire them anyways. As cognitive dissonance goes, you really can't beat that.

Think about it. Heck, let me supply some lines from the movie with one key replacement and you'll see what I mean:

"Swans are flawless."

"I hear they do car commercials in Japan."

"One time, a swan punched me in the face. It was AWESOME."

My point; I think she is made, so here's some swan hats.

Hats that are inspired by swans turn up a lot in wedding-related millinery, like this one.

Who knew that people during the Renaissance wore hats made to look like a swan? I didn't, until I saw this pic taken at a Ren faire.

The More You Know...

This one I kinda like, just because it really took the swan theme and ran with it. In multiples.

Speaking of multiples...

Apparently, the UK drink brand called Innocent holds a fundraiser dubbed The Big Knit. Basically, volunteers knit tons of little hats that fit over the top of their products and sell them, with a percentage of the profit going to Age UK.

These little swan hats were knitted for last year's Big Knit, and while they're not big enough for a human being to wear, they are still hats so I'm posting them anyway.

And on that note, I'm out.

This Is Not A Fedora

On the scale of things that are generally considered socially vexing, finding yourself stuck in a conversation where someone is getting all annoyed over a technicality is somewhere between overhearing someone have a cell phone conversation in the next stall in a public bathroom and having the Westboro Baptist Church stage a protest in your town; it's pretty annoying, but it's not liable to make you rage to the point where your blood pressure is threatening to make your eyeballs pop out. But even so, if it's not a subject we are interested in/care about that much, it'd be nice if there was a little forewarning so we could duck out of it before it gained in momentum.

So in the interest of giving a little forewarning, I'm about to be pretty annoying. Now would be an excellent time to hit the Back button on your browser if you're not that interested.

...

Still here? Okay, here goes.

See this?

He's wearing a fedora.

And this?

He's wearing a trilby.

AND THEY ARE NOT THE SAME RUDDY THING.

Seriously; just look at the darned things. Bogie's hat has a much wider brim and the peak of the hat is not so much a peak as it is a plateau. The brim on Old Blue Eyes' hat is smaller and the peak is sharper, giving it a triangular silhouette as opposed to the rectangular shape of the fedora.

Are these differences very slight? Yes, I'll grant you that. However, the differences are enough to cause these two hats to be classified as two entirely different styles. And it's very frustrating when you spend two freakin' days searching for trilby hats to feature and all you keep finding are fedoras. I felt like like I was looking for lightning and kept being redirected to lightning bugs.

So please, Internets. I beg of you. Stop mislabeling fedoras as trilbys. Please?

Under My Umbrella (Hat)*

As April comes to an end, the same is also true for many a college student's academic career. It's nearly graduation time, and that means giving up the dorm and entering the working world with a nice little degree hanging on your wall, as well as possibly a nice gift or two from family members that will come in handy. You know, like a car, maybe some money; stuff like that.

When my dad graduated from college nearly 40 years ago, his academic efforts were recognized with a class ring, a diploma and--I kid you not--an umbrella hat. How do I know? Because he still had it oh-so-many years later, wearing it with his suit as he headed off to work on drizzly days.

Looking back on it now, that might have been the point from where I became drawn to wacky hats. The reason I say "might" is because there's too much evidence of my being nearly embarrassed to death by my dad wearing that hat to make that claim stick. But while I did not die, it certainly did prepare me for some of the hats I've come across in my later years.

So without further ado, let's get to the umbrella hats, shall we?

Why wear an umbrella hat to a LAN party? Why not?

Of course, you don't have to go with a classic umbrella shape, as this froggy one proves (and rather cutely, I might add.)

One would think that it would be hard to sell umbrella hats on a sunny day, but as evidenced by this photo, that thought would be wrong.

This one seems to be a bit more on the functional side as opposed to being simply a novelty item. Seriously; he's got about as much coverage as he would have had with a regular umbrella, but it's a hat.

Speaking of embarrassing things, just be cautious of the dreaded umbrella hat blowout. Especially if you're wearing one at a fashion show, and you happen to be on the catwalk at the time.

How high do they have the wind machines set at those things, anyway?

'Later, folks!

*If you get the Rhianna song stuck in your head, that is so not even my fault.

The Abominable Snow Hat

When it comes to subjects that are most likely to appear as a headline in the tabloids or be told to a hushed group of kiddie campers around the campfire, cryptozoology has never really interested me. Bigfoot? Blah. The Loch Ness Monster? Bo-ring. Chupcabra? *yawn* The Jersey Devil? I prefer the Chicago Blackhawks, thanks.

And yet, I find I have a certain soft spot for that other stalwart of the magically-spooky beastie set, the yeti. Not sure why, as that from what I've gathered through pop cultural osmosis it's basically Bigfoot: The Himalayan Edition, but there's something about the yeti that just strikes my fancy.

So it was probably fortuitous that loyal reader Z pointed me in the direction of the following hat:

Because now you're all in for a post all about yeti hats, the fact that the seasons have finally taken a turn for the warmer be darned.

Seriously, though; how can you not like a hat that's as cute as this? It's all cutely aggressive and stuff.

If I had this hat, I'd probably be all grinny and pointing, too.

Hey, wait a sec; this hat looks familiar. Where have I...

Oh, yeah! I featured this hat back in October (albeit on an entirely different model.) But this time around, I can now direct you to the store where you can buy your very own yeti hat. Because I'm generous like that.

Thanks, Z!

I'm On The Boat

A week or so ago, I saw a "headline" story posted on Yahoo! declaring the hottest trends for Spring/Summer 2010. Now, I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination, but I do like to check the latest trends as a means of getting a hint as to what I can expect to find for the next few months. Besides, who knows? Maybe they'll feature a hat that I can write about. So I clicked the link.

...Well, they did mention a hat, but it was the ubiquitous fedora (this time, in straw.) Mind you, I have nothing against fedoras, but they do seem to be on the fast-track to becoming the next baseball cap, as that they have become really freakin' common. And by the nature of the beast, what's common doesn't really stand out and make you take notice, so they won't be appearing on this blog anytime soon.

Now a straw boater, on the other hand...that isn't something you see every day. In fact, I can't honestly recall when I last saw someone rock one, and those things are frickin' awesome. And seeing as they come in straw anyway, they would make an excellent alternative to the omnipresent fedora this spring and summer. So let's look at a few, shall we?

Like fedoras, boaters come in a variety of ribbon patterns. This one has a cheery yellow ribbon that is just begging to be worn out in the sun.

Of course, you can't go wrong with a classic black-ribboned one, either.

This one has flowers and a trimmed brim, which gives it a thoroughly vintage touch.

This one has less of a brim, but makes up for it with a veil and a sweet little ecru ribbon.

So what's stopping you from wearing a boater this spring and summer?

Biscuits Not Included

I don't normally delve into politics on this blog--what with it being a blog devoted entirely to hats and all--but as I'm sure many of us already know, there was a Tea Party in Boston earlier this week. Like most gatherings of the tea baggers (which I would just like to state has got to be the most unintentionally unfortunate/hilarious name of a "grass-roots political movement" that has ever been created due to certain implications I don't think many within the group were aware of [don't click that link if you want to remain ignorant of the NSFW meaning,]) it received a certain amount of counter-protest, but the ones I have to say charmed me the most were a few brave souls who actually held a literal tea party, complete with scones, biscuits and lumps of sugar.

Your mileage may vary, but from where I'm sitting, that was the coolest thing I'd ever heard of. And with that in mind, today's HH post is all about that most civil of items; the teacup. Or, seeing as this is a hat blog, teacup hats.

This one has a certain Cindy-Lou Who vibe, but that subtle brand on the tag just tickles me.

I'll admit that I'm more of a coffee-drinker than a tea-drinker, but I'm pretty sure bones are never needed to make tea.

Doesn't make this hat any less cool, though.

Not entirely certain what the context of this teacup hat is; judging by the photo, I'd say this was taken at a convention and the hat featured is part of a cosplay costume. So while I could be completely wrong about the situation (which I sincerely doubt,) that hat is still flipping amazing.

It's the doily that sells it, honestly. Teacups alone may conjure images of civility, but when paired with a doily, things get turned up to eleven.

So until next Monday; pip-pip, cheerio!

364 Unbirthdays

Hey, remember a few weeks ago when I asked for your ideas? Z's bike helmet idea wasn't the only one I got.

Yes, another reader (and great-good-chum IRL, I might add) by the name of kestrel_shrike pointed out that with the release of Tim Burton's reimagining of Alice in Wonderland, there were bound to be some Mad Hatter hats rolling around the Internet.

And by gum if he wasn't right about that. So seeing as it's one of my many Unbirthdays, today's going to be about Mad Hatter hats. Let's take a look at a few, shall we?

Holy decoupage, Batman!

I'm not even going to lie about this; I really like this one. Really, really like. Not enough to marry it, but I'd definitely fight for its honor and stuff.

For those of us who prefer our Mad Hatter hats with a heaping dash of girly, this site has you covered.

Of course, there's no rules against playing it simple if you prefer, as this hat shows.

So what's stopping you from making/getting your own Mad Hatter hat and throwing your own Unbirthday Party today?

Nature vs. Video Games

In case you weren't already aware of this, I would like to take this moment to state once and for all that Nature and I are not very compatible. Blame it on my city-rat upbringing, but putting me in situations that do not involve sidewalks, streetlights and streetcars generally doesn't end well for me. And yet, I keep trying anyway.

See, yesterday I went mushroom hunting. For those of you not in the know, basically it means tromping around in wooded, shady areas for a kind of mushroom called a morel, which you then get to eat (and might I add, they're frickin' tasty.) So in the spirit of trying something a little out of my usual routine, I went out on a mushroom hunt yesterday.

To cut a long story short, I didn't find any mushrooms. However, I did find poison ivy and ticks, but seeing as I wasn't the only person to encounter them, I'm not taking it too personally. The mild case of sun poisoning is rather irritating, though.

So seeing as these seem to be the only kind of mushrooms* I can find that doesn't involve itchiness, here's some Mario Bros mushroom hats.

This one features a variety of Mario Bros-related items, which you can see here.

As for this hat, it just plays it simple and just runs with the single mushroom. And unlike the previous hat, this one comes with a pattern for all you crafty types to try on your own.

Since the power-up mushrooms aren't the only ones found in the Mario Bros universe, why not try your hand at making a Goomba hat?

But if you are not craft-inclined like myself, you can always head over to the oft-featured Obey My Brain and grab yourself a mushroom cap like this one. As you can see, they look stunning with a suit.

*Or are they toadstools? It's early and I can't remember.

Saguaro-Faire

Oh, the cactus. That plant that nature itself seems to have created for those among us who possess a black thumb but still want something green and maybe a little flowery around the house. Which isn't to say that they can't be killed anyway, because I am living proof that people who can kill a cactus are not just an invention of lazy prime-time sitcom writers but are an actual fact, but they certainly do hang in there a lot better than, say, an orchid or something like that.

For which, I remain somewhat grateful. As grateful as one can feel towards a plant, anyway. So on that note, I would like to pay homage to this hardiest of the hardy plants by showing a couple of cactus hats.

Awww, who knew something so spiky could look so cute? From what I've been able to gather (since there is no further information coming on this hat,) it's basically a bear hat pattern modified to look like a cactus. Doesn't look half-bad, does it?

For those among us who don't dig the full saguaro style, why not go for something a little smaller but with a bigger flower? Considering how many floral hat patterns are out there, this one would be easy to make and modify.

So for you knitters out there, what are some patterns you've seen and tweaked to make even more awesome? Don't be shy; let me know!

Buzz-buzz-buzz

I'm out of town this week, and am apparently making new friends. The other day, I was introduced to a nine-year-old kid whose first name starts with a C. And by "introduced", I mean she walked in, I said 'hi' and she automatically dubbed me her newest friend. In fact, pretty much up until she left, my new name was "New Friend", which I let slide for the following two reasons:

1. My first name is pretty difficult for kids to say correctly without tons of practice, as I can recall pretty darn easily from my own childhood, and
2. It was cute bordering on precious.

C. spent much of the evening either trying to convince me that playing a game with her was an excellent idea (to varying degrees of success,) and it was during one of these games she told me she liked bees. That thew me a little, because bees are not bugs that are described as likable very often (I'm thinking the fact that they'll sting the bejeezus out of you might have something to do with it,) so I asked her why she liked bees so much.

"I just do," was the response. Then she proceeded to make her toy dog fly around the room.

And so, in honor of C. and her simple love of bees, today's HH is about bee hats.

Well, if you're going to have a bee hat, why not go with a beehive?

This one also follows the hive design, but tweaks it a bit for evening-wear purposes.

This one I'm throwing in simply because the expression on that cat's face is priceless. It's not very dramatic, but it definitely gets the "I hate you all" across rather nicely. The fact that it's wearing a bee costume is just gravy.

See you Friday!