Wrap It Up

Tom Baker would appreciate it if you would stop trying to steal his scarf and get your own.

NOTE: As longtime readers may tell you, every once in a while I like to do a little something different. Today is one of those days.

If you were to ask Rufus The Roommate what is one of the most frustrating things about me, chances are that after she had exhausted the topic of my being an overly-anxious clean freak, she'd probably start in on how much I resist being fashionable. And while I would argue the former as being a matter of difference between personal levels of tolerance for disorder, I have to admit that she's pretty much got me dead to rights on the latter. I'm not a fashionable person, and I never really have been.

And yet, I write three times a week about hats. Irony: It's what's for dinner.

My resistance to what's considered hot in the streets is brought into sharper relief when you compare me to Rufus, who is the Resident Fashion Plate. Granted, over the years she has been able to get me to branch out from my usual T-shirt/hoodie sweater/jeans rut with some success, but there are some things that just ain't gonna happen. (Two words: skinny jeans. Two more: @*$% NO.)

But even so, there are few things she's kinda-sorta brought me around to. One of those things would be that accessory that very rarely actually serves the purpose of keeping the neck warm: the fashion scarf.

That is, when they're done HH-style. ^_^

If I have to be in close proximity with a rattlesnake, I'd rather it be a cute little scarf like this one.

Since it's probably already apparent that I'm a big 'ol Nintendo fangirl, it should come as no surprise that I'd go bananas for a Yoshi scarf.

Of course, if you wanna kick it old-school Nintendo-style, there's a little something for you, too:

Ta-da! A piranha plant scarf, complete with pipe!

Considering his now-famous bit, I can't help but wonder if some fan gave comedian Jim Gaffigan this bacon scarf. It would only be appropriate.

For those of us out there who are looking for new and interesting ways to non-verbally communicate to strangers that we would like to be left alone kthanxbai, might I suggest this police tape scarf?

And finally, for the typeface afficionados out there:

A laser-cut typography-designed scarf, in what I think may be Helvetica.

...Hey, at least it's not Papyrus. Or Comic Sans.

See you Wednesday!

It's Not Easy Bein' Green

Adore this pic and desperate to send it as an e-card? Click here!

Since it's Friday and I'm feeling the need to make with the cute, how's about some frog hats? You in? I'm in.

For those of us out there who prefer our frog hats to be a little more along the lines of a tree frog (meaning longer limbs and red eyes,) Blueberry Junkie's got us covered.

But if you prefer a little something closer to what you'd find in a local pond, then you might wanna skip returning haberdasher Snug As A Bug's frog hat. It looks nothing like a frog you'd find chilling among the cattails: IT'S CUTER.

I mean, just look at those little hands. *squeeeeeee*

Despite the fact that this young lady may not look like it at the moment, she really does like her frog hat. How do I know? Because this pic is part of the 'thanks for selling awesome stuff' section of the site.

Maybe she's just very serious about what she likes. I don't know.

If you have a baby or are close to someone who does, you are officially honor-bound to go to this Etsy store and buy a hat for them. Statistics show that babies who wear hats like these in their infancy are more likely to grow up to be amazingly awesome people who cure cancer while turning in Oscar-worthy performances of reenacting how they won the Nobel Peace Prize and swept both the summer and winter Olympics.

Okay, maybe they won't grow up to do all that stuff, but you should still totally buy one anyway. They're really stinkin' cute. And don't worry that they'll grow out of it faster than you can blink because...

...Then the kid can wear hats like this one! They'll never have to be without an awesome hat! EVER!

What can I say? That's me; always looking out for my readers.

And speaking of looking out for y'all, you, uh, might wanna be careful with this last hat:

Maybe it's just the lighting in this picture or the fact that the guy wearing it has kind of a manic expression on his own face, but there is something about this hat that just seems...off. Particularly around the eyes. Like it's staring awfully hard, and there's no good reason for a hat to be looking like that. The only reason a hat needs to look this unsettling is if it's featuring in either a Stephen King novel, a Silent Hill game or Internet creepypasta, because then we'd at least be prepared for what happens when this hat finally makes its move.

Did that creep you out? GOOD. NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS HAT. NOW STOP STARING AT IT BEFORE IT STEALS YOUR SOUL.

And on that particularly "this-so-gonna-haunt-my-dreams" kind of note, I'm out. See you Monday!

[Expletive Deleted] Helmets

Pic from The Helmet Project

Sometimes life is hard. We all know this; that there are stretches of time when it feels like nothing is going your way and you can't even win for losing. And it's disheartening, which is why there are all sorts of pithy statements in existence to help us buck up and keep plugging along, such as the hoary "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" and the more recent (and more proactive) "put on your big-girl/big-boy panties and deal with it." But for my money, the one that helps put it all in perspective is a quip from Denis Leary: "Life sucks, get a [expletive deleted] helmet!"

Not sure why that helps so much, but it does. My guess is the source of its power is the [expletive deleted], but I digress.

But even though getting a helmet sounds good in theory, the reality is that helmets are not really all that practical in everyday life. With the exceptions of playing football/hockey or riding a bike/motorcycle, there really isn't much of a precedent set for average folks to be running around in helmets.

Which is why I'm glad for crocheted helmets; they help give you the psychological boost you need but are obviously not-helmet-like enough to keep people from wondering if you were the kid who ate the paste in your kindergarten class.

First up, we have this crocheted aviator's helmet which--for reasons I have been unable to suss out entirely--keeps bringing to mind James Earl Jones's headdress from Conan the Barbarian.

...I'm thinking it's the ear flaps. Or the angle of the picture. Or maybe I just need another cup of coffee.

For the old-school gamers out there; wouldn't you like a crocheted Mega Man helmet?

Oh, that's not hardcore enough for you? Well, hows about this one:

Yes, this is a Proto Man helmet. And yes, the sunglasses and scarf are necessary.

Admittedly, I don't know much about caving but this crocheted caving helmet looks pretty snazzy. The power source for the light on the back is a nice touch.

Okay--I had to translate this from Japanese with the help of Google Chrome, but from what I've been able to glean, this is a crocheted headphone helmet. Meaning, that sucker's got headphones built into the sucker, so you can wear it and rock out while listening to your MP3 player of choice at the same time.

...I know I say this a lot, but this might just be the coolest thing I have ever seen. EVER. My props; they are given to you, lady.

Button, Button--Who's Got The Button?

Learn to make cute curtains with buttons here.

As anyone who's looked at a calendar recently will know, August is just about over. Only eight more days left in this month, and then it'll be September and once Labor Day comes and goes, so too will summer be at its unofficial end. No more grilling, no more trips to the beach/pool, no more endless summer twilights; from that point on, it's just gonna get colder and darker until winter finally rolls around again, and then there's nothing we can do except wait for spring to come back.

Just thinking about it is enough to give you seasonal-affected disorder, isn't it? Well, maybe what we need to try is to think positively about the eventual/inescapable shift towards the colder/darker months of the year. Like, for instance, now we'll be able to wear all sorts of cute knitted hats again!

...C'mon, you had to see that coming. Look at whose blog you're reading, for crying out loud. If I'm going to put a spin on something, you know it's just gonna lead right back to hats.

So without further ado, let's look at some adorable hats that feature my personal favorite of all the clothing-fastener devices: buttons.

Admittedly, I'm not a yellow gold kind of girl, but this one may just change my mind. Look at all the sparklies!

Of course, if you're not a metal kind of person, you could always go with a hat with a cluster of glass buttons instead.

If you're not a multiples kind of person, you could always go with one large button and call it a day, like this lady.

I love the colors of the yarn and buttons on this one, even though I'm pretty certain that they wouldn't work on me.

And finally, we've got this felted bad boy featuring three large mismatched buttons. It's got a nice, funky feel to it, I think.

So you see, there's no need to get all down in the dumps just because summer's almost over. Just focus on the brighter side of autumn; the return of knits, the colors of the trees and--most importantly--the eventual death of every single creepy-crawly insect. DEATH TO MOSQUITOES!

Piece of Cake

Get the recipe for this deliciousness here.

Today's post is going to be a little on the different side.

See, I've got this friend called kaze_neko. To say she's been having a rough week would be putting it mildly; she's just having a bad month, period. How bad, you ask? Well, last I checked, she gave the entire month of August a NSFW idea as to what it could do with itself and theorized on how much more she could take before she became Woobie: Destroyer of Worlds (short answer: not much.)

Now I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have one of my friends snap like a dry twig and proceed to go on a roaring rampage. But I also realize that I can't quite cheer her up the way she'd like, as that I have yet to figure out how to send corn liquor through a wireless Internet router, let alone good corn liquor. But what I can do is post some stuff that I think she might like and hope that cheers her up some.

So kaze, this cake hat post is for you.

Annemarie over at Ivory Tower is responsible for this fabulous yellow cake hat. As near as I can tell, the only things that aren't edible are the flowers. The rest? TASTY.

I'm rather in awe of this one from Sedona Wedding Cakes.com. Not just because the top hat is amazing, but because the gloves aren't real. They're actually made of sugar.

Seriously; I read that, and my brain dang-near exploded.

According to the source, this cake hat was shown at the San Diego Cake Club's annual Confections on Parade Cake Show and Competition. I don't know if it won or not, but I'd like to think that it was exceedingly delicious.

Okay, okay--I know this is a hat box cake as opposed to a cake hat, but considering what an awesome job Paula J. did on this, I think it's easy to see why it got included in this post.

And last but not least:

Considering how much kaze talks about basketball, I couldn't resist posting this one. Especially considering the sheer amount of detail that was put into it. I mean, just look at the sticker; it's perfectly legible and everything!

That's all I've got for today, and kaze; here's hoping that this put a smile back on your face, or at least made you relax your grip on the ax for a moment.

Foiled Again

Of the myriad of jobs I've taken over the years, the one that probably left the biggest immediate impression on me was the job at the deli. Thinking it over, I've come to conclude that the reason for this is not just because I got along with everyone there and not just because the job itself was actually kind of fun. No, the reason the job made such an impression is because of two little words: tin foil.

See, I started out as holiday help, which meant that I and the rest of the holiday helpers got the tasks that the rest of the regular crew would do anything to avoid. And seeing as this deli's claim to fame/biggest moneymaker was their glazed hams, that meant wrapping hundreds of hams a day with this fancy, heavy, copper-colored tin foil.

Have any of you out there accidentally cut yourself on a piece of tin foil? If you have, I think you know where this is going; if not, then consider yourself about to be enlightened.

For about two months, my hands were literally scored with nicks and cuts from the tin foil. My palms were little more than a collection of shallow little cuts that stung like a mug if my hands were introduced to anything. By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, my hands were cut up so badly that I was trying to figure out ways to avoid using them at all because the sheer act of touching anything brought tears of pain to my eyes (which made taking a shower pretty interesting, but I digress.) I seriously could not imagine how it could get worse.

At least, that was the case until I got hot glaze dripped onto the back of my hand (on Christmas Eve, natch.) Then I had a very good example of how it could be worse, and the tin foil cuts didn't matter nearly as much.

In any event, one of the lasting side-effects of working at the deli is that to this very day, I avoid using tin foil as much as humanly possible. Which is kinda frustrating, as that I have a well-documented hate/murderous rage relationship with plastic wrap, since I have yet to successfully tear off a piece of that crap without all sorts of blood-boiling wackiness ensuing. Honestly, if it weren't for Lock & Lock, there would be no leftovers in my house. EVER.

Which is why today, we've got tin foil hats. Because anyone who spent the amount of time it took to create these mamma-jammas definitely suffered for their art. Trust me. I KNOW.

Toronto-based party planners Funkless.com apparently have a yearly tin foil hat contest/party. These hats are among some of their more recent offerings.

Of course, if you prefer a little more full-coverage, Larushka can help you with that.

...Any of you remember the Tweedlebugs from Sesame Street? 'Cause this guy's hat is reminding me an awful lot of the Mama Tweedlebug's antennae.

Black-and-white film: Making tin foil hats look like haute couture since 1884.

And last, but certainly not least:

A stormtrooper tin foil helmet. Why? BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME, THAT'S WHY.

See you Friday!

Monkey Business

Monkey cupcakes from yanowhatimean??

As mentioned last Friday, I was rather ill (and by "rather ill," I mean "so sick that I was at first afraid I was gonna die, and then I was afraid I wouldn't.") The timing on that couldn't have been worse, as that I was supposed to have left the day before for Ontario for the wedding of two very dear friends of mine but didn't, as that my digestive tract was busily kicking out everything with a caloric intake from my system like a power-tripping homeowners association.

Food poisoning: Making you feel accomplished when you can keep down dry toast since the dawn of time.

In any event, I spent the majority of my weekend feeling both physically and emotionally miserable, but I did survive (as this post and Twitter will prove.) But since it's a new week and I'm feeling better, here's the post I would have had up on Friday had it not been for all that foulness.

And they're monkey hats!

Monkey hats: They don't discriminate against age, man. Even adults can have a monkey hat.

Of course, not that that stops the majority of monkey hats being for children-types, as this one proves.

As does this one, but seeing as the kid wearing it just looks so darn thrilled, I think I'll let it slide. Y'know, just this once.

Now I know I've done a sock monkey hat post before, but when I saw the following hat, I just couldn't resist the urge to share.

You might wanna prepare yourself, because new levels of awesome are about to be reached:

It's a Mr. T sock monkey hat! Complete with trademark gold jewelry, beard and mohawk! And it's a sock monkey hat! *HEAD ASPLODES FROM THE AWESOME*

And that's all I've got for today (hey--you try looking for something that would top a Mr. T sock monkey hat. I'm telling you: IT CAN'T BE DONE.) Until Wednesday, this is HH, signing off!

Sick Day

Today's HH has been called off on the account of illness, as that I got a wicked case of food poisoning early Thursday morning and have been feeling like Death slightly warmed over ever since.

Posting will resume like normal on Monday, but for now I'm going to go crawl back into bed.

Enter The Dragon

I don't know what the weather's like where you are, but let me tell you, Internets; it is hot here. Hot-hot-hot. HOT. We're talking 'Heat Advisory' hot. 'Excessive Heat Warning' hot. 'Might Die From Heat Stroke' hot. And--the real crux of the issue for me--'Can't Sleep Worth A Darn 'Cause It's So Flippin' HOT' hot.

Seriously. I can handle a lot of things, but my ability to handle them with grace and fortitude diminishes greatly when I don't get a good night's sleep. So when I keep waking up because either I have sweated myself awake (trust me; it can happen, people,) or because The Husband made the mistake of rolling too close to me in his sleep (AUGH, BODY HEAT; GET IT AWAY FROM ME,) it should come as no surprise that when I finally do get up I am nowhere near charming and delightful to behold.

Not that I've ever had the reputation for being a morning person in the first place or anything, but let's just say it's worse when I haven't had a decent amount of sleep. Much, much worse.

So in honor of the fact that I've been stomping around like a 5' 3" dragon with an attitude these past few mornings, how's about some dragon hats, huh?

Did you see that movie called How To Train Your Dragon? Did you like it? Did you want a hat in the shape of the eponymous dragon, Toothless? Then you might wanna ask this lady how she made hers.

This hat I like purely because it looks like it's taking a nap when you aren't wearing it. It's a hat! It's art! It's both at the same time!

For those of you who prefer your dragons to be a little less obvious, we've got this pink mamma-jamma.

But seeing as you're looking at this blog, something tells me you'd rather see more hats like this:

Which I totally can't blame you for, because that hat is pretty stinkin' awesome. I just wish I knew where that blogger got it from.

And now, I would like to reenact what happened when I saw this:

HOLY CRAP--IS THAT A MALEFICENT HAT?!

*looks harder*

...No, that hat's red, and Maleficent didn't wear red. She wore black trimmed with purple. But darned if that hat doesn't look really stinkin' similar.

Having looked at quite a few dragon hats recently, I would have to say that I have come to conclude that if you want a quick way to let everyone know that this is a dragon hat, you need to add a pointy spine ridge.

Consider the above Exhibit A.

This yellow-spined version with the triangular ear flaps would be Exhibit B.

And this pink-and-lilac combo with the I-don't-know-whats on the side would make up Exhibit C.

In short, Pointy Spine Ridge = Cruise Control to Dragon. Although if you want to avoid the possibility that people might mistake that for a stegosaurus hat, you could always just go with a hat that leaves no room for debate.

See? There is no question that this sucker right here is a dragon hat. The only way there could be any question is if someone is feeling like they wanna be difficult and argue that it's actually a stegosaurus with wicked heartburn.

And while that might be annoying, just try to resist the urge to set 'em on fire, okay? Local law enforcement tends to frown on that.