Break That Fast

I like this print, but in my case, it would be a more accurate representation of my morning routine if it said, "Slam Coffee and Try Not To Destroy The House."

So the other day on Twitter, they had this delightful hashtag trending wherein you replace part of a band's name with the word "pancakes." And because I am a sucker for anything that involves being silly with words, it should come as no surprise that I jumped on that like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. Because it's hard not to get behind a bit of silliness for silliness' sake, particularly when it involves those griddle goodies we call pancakes.

And seeing as my mind works in goofy ways, I wondered if I could find me a pancake hat. And lo, Internets, I did:

But sadly, that was pretty much the only one I did find. Good thing it looks so flippin' awesome, huh? I'm most impressed by the pat of butter resting on top of the syrup. It just pulls the whole thing together.

So I can't go with my original idea of doing a post entirely of pancake hats, which is a little annoying. However, I can work within the theme of breakfast foods, which is exactly what I'm gonna do. Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day, or so I've been told.

In the case of Mental Leaps I'm Certain Of Which T.H. Would Not Approve, when I look at this fried egg fascinator, I find myself reminded of said spouse. Not because I think he would wear it (although I would pay good money to see that,) but because dude really likes his eggs. A lot. A whole lot. A whole "it's-ridiculous-how-much-fridge-space-is-currently-devoted-to-egg-storage-right-now" lot. A LOT.

And now, to stop that overly long gag from droning on further, here's a toast pillbox hat:

Because even Waffle House recognizes that it's not really breakfast unless there's toast involved.

But the thing with all of these breakfast hats thus far is that they all pretty much rely on someone actually putting forth some effort into making breakfast (and yes, toast requires effort.) I don't know about you, Internets, but I freely admit that I am the laziest of the lazy when it comes to making breakfast; meaning, the only hot thing I break my fast with is coffee. Unless someone else makes it, my breakfast is liable to be room-temperature-to-cold.

Which is why it's probably a good thing that there are such things as Pop-Tarts, because those things are just fine straight out of the packet. And like with all good things, it was only a matter of time before someone crossed one with a zombie, which is the only reason why I can surmise this exists:

And all I have to say about that is this: Kellogg Company, MAKE THESE HAPPEN. I WILL BUY A CRATE OF THEM IF YOU DO.

See you Friday!