Fragaria x ananassa + Cream

True facts:  If  I were left alone with the subject matter in this print, it would be all gone by the time 

the photographer returned.  This may or may not include the crate.  Depends on how hungry I am.

Internets, I think we can all agree that one of the worst things in the world is an unfulfilled craving.  You know, when you suddenly get deep and urgent desire for a specific something but for whatever reason you can't have it, so all you're left with is a taste in your mouth that nothing else is going to even begin to compare with.

For instance, I am having a serious craving right now, and it is for fresh strawberries.  Which stinks, as that there are no strawberries on hand in order to satiate my hankering, fresh or otherwise.  So I am going to do the next best thing to having strawberries, and that is convert my unresolved longing for strawberries and turn it into a post for today, like thus:

For such a simple fascinator, it looks deliciously decadent, doesn't it?  I'm thinking that's probably because the base looks like dark chocolate, and chocolate added to anything is generally a big improvement .

Well, maybe not anything--chocolate-covered fish sticks probably aren't any good.  But for the most part, I'm still right.

Of course--just as the only thing better than a fresh strawberry is more fresh strawberries--why settle for just a lone strawberry on your fascinator when you can have a whole saucerful of strawberries perched on your pate?

Considering that the boho headband still seems to be all the rage, it only makes sense to share one that features not only strawberries, but strawberry blossoms, too.  Because hey--this blog can be trendy every once in a while.

And because I like to wrap things up on an awesome note, here's a strawberry shortcake pillbox hat:

And now I'm even more in the mood for a strawberry than before.  Poop.

See you next week!

Stuffed With Straw

All I have to say about this photograph is this:  Gondoliers have awesome hats.

Oh, straw hats--no matter how much I try to quit writing post after post about them, they keep pulling me back in with their prettiness.  Behold:

 
Granted, you'll have to embiggen this, but trust me--it's a beautifully glamorous hat, and it's pretty much the reason why we're gonna be looking at straw hats again today.

This straw fedora makes me wonder: Are two-toned hats the new hotness?  I remember reading something about ombre dye jobs a while ago, so I'm just wondering if it's spread to hats now.

Either way, I'm liking this hat.  Even if it is a fedora.

And just to remind everyone that straw hats can be dressy, here's a straw floral fascinator, complete with a little bitty veil for added loveliness.

As an admitted sucker for the color green, this hemp straw hat is right up my alley.  And who knows--maybe it'll be right up yours, too.

...That last sentence didn't quite turn out the way I hoped.  Oh, well.  You know what I meant, even if it's not what I said.

And lastly, for those of you who are both budget-minded and needed a straw hat yesterday, here's a sweet little wide-brimmed boater that just so happens to be on sale:

Granted, I don't know what that amount in Australian dollars is in American dollars, but I figure that's what Google Converter is for.

See you Friday!

AKA Pinkish-Orange

I like how this looks like an abstract doodle as well as an 

honest-to-goodness plume of coral at the same time.

First up, I want to thank everyone who participated in the hat raffle over the weekend, as well as congratulate the winner, Velvet Kitten, on her brand-spanking-new convention-bound fascinator.  This was probably definitely the most fun I've had with the blog in a while, and it was you, Internets, who made it that way.  So once again, thank you, and congrats, Velvet!

Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get to the post, shall we?

So unless the main page of Etsy is currently lying to me, it looks like coral has somehow become the color of the season.  Which is pretty nifty, I think, since it's pink without being overly precious like the pastel kind or, conversely, beating you over the head about it like PANK can (and does.)

So it is with that in mind that today's post is all about hats that fall somewhere near the Hex triplet of #FF7F50, and I'm gonna start with this one:

Because while it may be summer around here, that doesn't mean that knits should automatically be verboten.  Particularly if they come in the form of snazzy little berets like the one above.

I know I post a lot of hats from Aka Tombo, but I can't remember if I've posted this floral coral fascinator before or not.  Either way, it doesn't change the fact that this hat is entirely rad and worthy of being shared.

Of course, if we're going to do a summery theme, we might as go with a hat that practically screams "summer."  And nothing does that more effectively than a two-tone straw sun hat.

And just because this is deliciously meta, here's a fantastically fabulous coral tiara:

Seriously--I saw this, and my brain nearly short-circuited from an overload of the awesome.  If you have embiggened nothing on this site before, DO IT NOW.  IT IS WORTH IT.

And on that note, that's it for today.  See you Wednesday!

Of Mustaches And Mini Hats

Note:  If you have cats, you might as well get them to model some things every now and again.  

Sadly, this is the best I could do with Moses.  Rameses ran and hid the second I opened the box.

For those of you who follow the Twitter or fanned the Facebook page, you might recall my mentioning sometime earlier this month about having won a raffle for one of Chef Bizzaro Millinery's hats; if you don't happen to bother with either of those forms of social media, then consider yourself brought up to date.

In any event, the point I'm trying to make is that my box full of goodies has arrived, and I feel compelled to do a little Show and Tell.  To start with:

There's two sheets of stickers, which makes me nostalgic for the days when sticker-collecting was a thing.

I got not one, not two, but THREE different mustache veils (because variety is the spice of life, natch.)

And they're not just any mustache  veils.  Oh, no--these suckers are SPARKLY mustache veils.  Because anybody can have a fake mustache, but not everyone can rock a glittery mustache on a veil.

But the pièce de résistance is, of course, the hat: 

And not jut any kind of hat, mind you--heck no.  It's a Star Wars hat, complete with a prominent display of that most famous of Sith Lords, Darth Vader himself.

I think it suits me rather nicely, even if that whole "photogenic" thing still eludes me.  But that's not all:

I GOT A SECOND HAT.  Which, thanks to Amanda at Chef Bizzaro Millinery, I get the honor of raffling off myself, along with one of the sheets of stickers and your choice of mustache veil (because I like to share a good thing when I can.)  To enter, all you have to do is head over to the Heinous Hats Facebook page and Like the link to today's post. The deadline for entry is 12 AM EST Sunday, June 24, 2012, but I would heartily suggest you enter now  instead of putting it off until later.

And just because a little gratitude goes a long way, here I am, saying "thanks" to Amanda for my amazing new hat:

My penmanship:  It sucks nearly as bad as my ability to take a decent self-photo.  But the sentiment is entirely genuine.

And on that note, see you next week!

Nap Time

And right now, I really like naps a lot.

Oh, and this card is pretty rad, too.

Internets, I need to level with you for a minute:  I am le tired.  I am so very, very le tired and am in desperate need of a nap.  But I also need to write up a post for you all, and thanks to a guilt complex that could only have been implanted by the combination of a Catholic upbringing and a Jewish stepmother, I can't do that unless I write a post first.  Which you would think would be easy, but once you've hit that level of overtired that you've officially become headachy/brainfried, then it's about as easy as passing a kidney stone.  While giving birth. To a fully-grown Andre the Giant.

...And I think I just killed what was left of my brainpower to come up with that last bit.  Great.

So in the interest of putting my brain out of my misery temporarily, how about we compromise:  I'm just going to post one hat, and then I'm gonna go lie down for a bit.  Sound good?  Then here we go:

Note:  I don't often post rose-themed stuff on here, but needs must as the devil drives, or however that old  saying goes.  Also, this fascinator is huge and awesome and hugely awesome, so I think it deserves it.

So...are we good?  I hope so, and see you Wednesday.

The Return Of The Beards

Y'know, of all the shallow reasons out there to 

date somebody, I can't actually argue with this one.

Yes, you read that right--I'm posting some more beard hats, even though it's summertime and therefore way to stinkin' hot to even think about wearing something that heavy.  Because frankly, anytime is a good time for a beard hat, and I'm gonna start with this one:

Which, admittedly, is pretty standard beard hat, although I must point out that this particular bearded hat comes with the option of choose-your-own-beard color, so there is that.

However, if you're wanting something a little different, then you can't get more different than a crocheted flat cap with attached beard for babies.

Admit it--it is different.  And might I add, just because the above baby doesn't look particularly happy about the bearded hat does not mean that all babies are gonna hate bearded hats.  So just keep that in mind, childed people.

I'm not sure what it is I like better about this bearded hat; that the beard is lustrous enough that I'm surprised it's not attached to a viking/dwarf helmet, or that the beard is, in fact, detachable.  Because as beautiful as that beard is, you wouldn't want to risk messing it up by accidentally getting it into your spaghetti sauce, would you?

And just because if I'm going to revisit a type of hats that I've already posted before then I might as well go all in, here's a crocheted pirate beard hat:

And yes, it does come with the eyepatch.  You'll have to supply your own rum, though.

See you next week!

In The Key Of

According to the info, this pic is of the keys to a wine cellar in France.  And while I know we're not to 

judge a book by its cover, I think you can judge a wine cellar by how freakin' old the keys are, so my 

guess is that the contents of said wine cellar in France has got to be excellent.

So I was on Facebook the other day, reading up on the latest exploits of various friends and relatives (which is pretty much what I think everyone does on Facebook, but I digress,) when I saw this photo pop up on my News Feed:

 

And after I took a moment to recognize that, yes, that actually was a stroke of brilliance that I wish had been mine, I began thinking about keys and keychains and, well, that brings us today's post which is full of things like this:

Okay, well maybe not entirely full of conveniences made awesome by Lego, but definitely full of keychains.

Besides, like I could resist posting a stormtrooper keychain.  I am such a sucker for that white-clad army composed of Jango Fett clones and I don't even care.

I'm posting this plush trilobite keychain for two reasons:

1. It reminds me of one of my sisters (not that they look alike or anything--far from it--but I seem to recall that she had a trilobite fossil back in the day,) and
2. For a fossilized beastie, this actually rather cute.  Although I am willing to bet trilobites didn't come in Wolverine colors, but whatever.

To my mind, there's no molecule better suited for keychaindom than serotonin.  And if you've ever found your keys after having torn apart the entire neighborhood, still couldn't find them and then became thoroughly convinced that they were completely and utterly lost for all time, you can't really argue with my logic on this one.

And just so I can end this post on a hat-related note, here's a keychain featuring Jayne Cobb's cunning little hat:

And on that note, see you Friday!

The Other White Meat

Well, I suppose if you weren't already aware of what kinds of food all the bits of a pig 

were liable to be turned into, this poster will be more than happy to educate you.

Internets, I am currently kicking myself, and this is going to take some explaining, so bear with me.

You see, last Friday I was reminded by Anna the Curator via Twitter about the opening of a millinery exhibit at the local museum (which I heartily suggest that you check out yourselves if you happen to be local to Centraliana/are passing through, 'cause it's freakin' great.)  So I immediately bribed browbeat talked TH into making this a date night sort of thing, and we had a wonderful time; meeting with the millinery, talking with Anna and getting to munch on some tasty hummus.

Now, that is not what I am kicking myself about.  What I am kicking myself about is that--on a podium in the main lobby of the museum--there is a pig made from a water cooler bottle.  As Anna explained, it was the museum's entry for a contest that is part of an upcoming town festival (it makes sense in context,) which was pretty cool in and of itself, but the best part about it is how the pig statue was dressed.  Why do I say that?  Because the pig was dressed as a certain Jedi from a certain series of movies, complete with lightsaber and what has been beautifully described as "emo" hair.

And Internets, I didn't get a picture of it.  Granted, I don't think it'll be going anywhere anytime soon, but it still annoys me greatly that I didn't have the wherewithal to snap a picture of Luke Stywalker the first time around.

So since I've been thinking about pigs all weekend long, it's only right that today's post be about pig hats, so that is exactly what we're gonna do, starting with this one:

It's the little bitty ears that really made me fall in love with it.  Well, those and the button eyes, obviously.

Now, I'm willing to bet that most of you may be thinking that this post is basically going to be full of crocheted or knitted pig hats, aren't you?  Well, you'll be happy to know that you're right, but try this bad boy on for size:

No, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you.  This is, in fact, a pig fascinator.  And it's not the only one available in that shop, either.  It just happens to be the one I like best, and it's not made out of yarn, so there.

Meanwhile, this one is actually made out of yarn, and rather adorably so.  Also, I would think that the temptation to beep the snout of this hat has got to be intensely strong.

And just because I can, here's an Angry Birds green pig hat:

As to whether or not various types of birds are liable to launch themselves at your head while you're wearing said hat, I have no idea.  But either way, I'd say the hat is worth the risk.

See you Wednesday!

We All Scream For Ice Cream

Anyone know where this ice cream parlor is?  I feel honor-bound to give 

them my business, just based on the awesomeness of their neon sign.

I don't know about you, Internets, but it's been one heck of a week around here.  Just busy, busy, busy from dawn until dusk for days on end.    Which, to be fair, tends to be the way of things when you happen to be an adult and you're doing adult things like Meeting Responsibilities, Doing Chores and Earning A Living, but it does get a little tiresome after a while.  What's worse is that--because being an adult tends to be synonymous with being mature--the rewards for doing all of this is supposed to be something dumb like "the knowledge of a job well-done" (also known as a no-prize.)

Well, forget that noise.  I'm gonna have a reward, and it's going to be in the form of ice cream.  Or, since there currently isn't any ice cream in the house, ice cream hats.

First up is this subtle ice cream cocktail hat made from upcycled kimono silk, which reminds me of the little crocodile on Lacoste clothing for some reason, but I can't figure out why.  Can you?

This knitted popsicle fascinator brings up a very interesting question:  Why don't rocket pops come with sprinkles on them?

The following two ice cream sundae fascinators come from the same shop, but in two different colors.  And since I couldn't decide which one I liked better, I decided to take a third option and post them both:

Because as much as I like this pink one...

...I like this purple one just as much.

And just because they're certainly the first thing I think of when I think "ice cream hats" (and for good reason,) here's a crocheted banana split headband from youcute:

What can I say?  I'm a sucker for things that smile at me.

And on that note, see you next week!

There's Something Fishy About This Post

No, your eyes aren't fooling you--this is actually a mosaic made from buttons, 

and therefore is the raddest thing you're likely to see this morning. You're welcome.

Of course, that's probably because this post is full of hats featuring those gill-having, aquatic craniate paraphyletics commonly known as fish.  Not because this post is off in any way; goodness, no.  This post is both morally/ethically sound and stench-free, so there's no need for concern at all.  Just kick back, scroll on and enjoy the hats. I insist.

Then again, it'd be hard not to enjoy the hats when there's fun ones like this needle-felted koi fish hat, wouldn't it?  It's just too snazzy not to like.

If it's true that variety is the spice of life, then how spicy would we rate this selection of crocheted fish hats?  Mild?  Medium?  Hot?  I'm thinking Mild, seeing as they are baby hats and I'm pretty sure babies lack the palate to handle anything spicier.  However, I do reserve the right to be entirely wrong about that, so there you go.

Is it just me, or does the color scheme of this embroidered fish headband look rather spring-like?  Mind you, that's not a bad thing; it's just that pastels have always struck me as April-May-June types of colors, and I'm wondering if this is a mental association everybody has or not.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: There really ought to be more hats with googly eyes, and there should be more hats that look like they're trying to swallow the wearer whole.  Googly eyes + Devouring hat = Extra awesome, as this knit fish hat amply proves.

And just because if you follow fish to their logical conclusion, this headband is what you're gonna get:

Admittedly, the bones probably won't be black or glittery, but I'm still right.

See you Friday!